Fifty percent of this country’s truck-drivers are on black tar heroin. Half of them!
(But I forget to mention I only interviewed two truck-drivers for this report)
1.) What exactly is Duotrope‘s statistical method? Is it all self reporting? I hardly see this as accurate, reliable, or significant.
Crazyhorse rejects 84.1% and has an acceptance rate of 0.5%?
How about this: ClapBoard House accepts 40% of submissions!!! (Oddly, they also reject 40%)
Uh, ok. I read the latest issue of Clapboard and although it didn’t wow me, and some of the editing was sketchy, I feel they probably accepted just a smidgen less than 40 percent of submissions. But it must be true, since in the last year TEN people have reported it on Duotrope’s.
Are these rankings meaningful to anyone out there?
2.) Am I the only one to notice Duotope’s interface/home page looks like it was designed on an Atari 2600 by a young, goofy looking Whiz Kid with plaid bell bottoms and an addiction to Pong? I keep wondering if their offices have printers with perforated paper. Or maybe they really decide their Lit Mag data by Magic 8 Ball?
Busted! For Bland Design of Duotrope.
3.) They do note that writers want to get paid. Word on that. Although attempting to pay my mortgage with copies of magazines is a nice trick.
4.) Here’s a new Flash Fiction I wrote two days ago:
They woke one morning with a Duotrope between them. Oversized, enormous, with an oily sheen and silent density; a gravity tugging them to the center. They couldn’t see each other, only the black planet of the Duotrope…
(There’s a bunch here in middle but it didn’t click. Let’s pick up near the ending…)
They lay there in separate furrows, both staring at the ceiling, both turning the identical thought: “I wish we’d flung away this Duotrope when it was the size of a Duotrope.” But neither knew the other’s mind. What stirred in the black-lit hallways of their hearts. Because they voiced nothing. Instead sighed and rolled over, spine to isinglass to spine. In the arching shadow of the Duotrope, they hugged themselves and listened to the weather rolling in: Push of wind at glass. Strike of lightning. Thunder. Then rain.
5.) What the hell is a Duotrope? I keep thinking of a dinosaur.
AHHHH, A Duotrope Attack!!
6.) Have you noticed? So many of the magazines on Duotrope are expired, or offline, or simply do not exist. Then why list them, I wonder?
As many of you know, I once ate nachos for 41 days. I’ve been considering breaking the record, as an act of spiritual cleansing. Updates later.