I am Worried About my Brother so Completed a Lorcet Email Interview.

Q: When did you first get to know Lorcet?

My first memory of taking an opiate was on a road 

trip with this girl I was friend with.  We stopped by 

her mom's

house who was ill. 

When we got back in the car 

to continue the drive, she handed me a pill.  I

remember my neck felt soft and weird the whole drive.

Q: How does it feel when you take Lorcet?  

At its best It feels like a thin warm glow surrounding 

your entire body, with a slightly thicker, warmer glow 

surrounding your brain.

Q: Do you hate yourself? Is that why you take Lorcet?  

Not really...maybe?  No
hate.  Just a general apathy 

towards everything

Q: Do you ever have sex with strangers for your Lorcet?  

Only once.  and this is a funny
story, so at our 
library they have these holes in the bathroom stalls.

Q: How skinny is your waist and/or bruised arm?  

31 inches around I think?

Q: Do you faint often? When's the last time you fainted?  

Yes, extreme frequent fainting. 
Exactly three weeks ago

Q: Do you "get a buzz" by showing up in public
locations while on Lorcet?  

Must avoid public at all costs while on Lorcet.

Q: What do you mix your Lorcet with?  

Beer, wine, liquor, mexican food, Vivaldi, 

Beethoven,  saki.

Q: Will you stop taking Lorcet when your throat falls off?  

Ha.  I will stop taking
Lorcet never.
Q: Lastly, when was the last time you assaulted a tourist, for

Tourists come to Baton rouge for many reason

...mainly football. Last year Florida was in town, 

I wondered aimlessly among the wanderers.

Mainly looking for free beer and hot wings.  

As likely to happen during any football game, I felt 

an uncontrollable craving for Lorcet.

Finding the weakest Gator fan I could find, 

I pushed a broken KFC spork to his throat 

and demanded Lorcet.  As you
can probably

imagine, the poor
frightened man new 

nothing of what I was talking about.

Coming from Gainesville FL, this tourist 

knew of two things: jesus and tim tebow.

Unfortunately neither were there to help him.

3 responses to “I am Worried About my Brother so Completed a Lorcet Email Interview.

  1. Is this the shit they give you when you get a tooth pulled?

    I wish I could detect if this were a real interview, if you have a brother with a drug problem, or if it is “funny”.

  2. It is probably all of the above

  3. Pingback: Pink Elephant Hydrocodone Richard Yates. 5K results. « Sean Blog: It All Relates 2 Writing

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