I Love Frank. Nacho Volcano. Haiku for Nachos.

Today, we discus Frank Liberto, CEO of Rico Products Company, of the concession stand industry. Clearly a visionary, in 1977, at an Arlington stadium baseball game, Mr. Liberto introduced nachos as a concession item. They were not a hit, at first. It was like introducing stir fry, or sushi–people went, “This is Mexican food. We want hot dogs and peanuts and Crackerjacks.”

[side note: While researching my Nacho Index (and encyclopedic tome in progress) I had a meeting in Houston, Texas with Mr. Liberto. He beat me soundly at darts, but also gave me some great advice. He said, “I would say that humans never really despair because of any suffering in itself. Instead, their despair stems in each instance from a doubt as to whether suffering is meaningful without nachos. Man is ready and willing to shoulder any suffering as long as he can, somewhere down the existential line, glimpse a light, a concession stand neon glow, a tortilla, grated cheese, single jalapeno.”]

nachos

Then, at Arlington stadium and elsewhere across America, the nachos caught on, big-time. Why?

1.) Studies have shown that Nachos increase the quality of everything in their proximity. Sex near nachos is better. People either fly, or turn invisible when eating quality nachos for over 30 conecutive days. Also, due to their spicy nature, nachos make you thirsty, so drink sales increased throughout the stadium (and now in bars, restaurant, living rooms).

2.) Howard Cosell likes words. He thought the word nacho was odd, and, while filming Monday Night Football, decided to try the new concession item. He loved it! And then took to mentioning the food item every broadcast after. What do lemmings, um, humans do when they hear a word over and over on TV?? They buy that word! Thank you, Howard. Thank you.

*

I have many more reasons for nacho world domination, but I want to address a blog reader here. A reader from Arizona sent me a photo last Sunday and told me it was a “Nacho Volcano” and would I post it on my blog. I said I would:

volcano1

But, as I told the reader, that is not a Nacho Volcano.

THIS IS:

volcano21

(I would like to thank all the wonderful artists involved, NASA (who allowed the event in their space center), and, once again, Mr. Frank Liberto. He sponsored the event and supplied the ingredients. The man is a tireless nacho advocate and I consider him a god.)

Do you want to see the volcano erupt?? Stand back!

*

Here is a haiku for today, from Gerald Bradley

“vegetarian hell for drooling puppies”

nacho cheese like lust

dripping slowly aching now

the napkin useless

*

Here is a flash fiction about Samantha interviewing a nacho.

*

beernacho

Bye. I have to go cook something.

S


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One response to “I Love Frank. Nacho Volcano. Haiku for Nachos.

  1. The volcano thing is hilarious.

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